A Future Worth Waiting For
by ballyfan
Summary: Leo has gone, leaving Peter and Assumpta to deal with the consequences of her marriage


A future worth waiting for

Assumpta let the breath leave her body slowly, conflicting emotions bubbling up inside her; he was gone, she was on her own again. Yet she didn't feel lonely, aside from the guilt, her over-riding emotion was relief, at having her own space, at not having to pretend to herself about what she felt, and what she didn't feel.

Scanning the room she noticed the time on the clock, five minutes to opening, her public would be waiting. She smiled, that made her sound like the queen, not the landlady of a small country pub. She couldn't allow them to start banging on the door and Padraig was impatient at the best of times. Brendan and Siobhan would be waiting too and Peter might be along soon.

'Stop it' she chided herself, 'just because Leo has gone doesn't mean you are free to obsess once again about Peter – as if you ever really stopped'. Assumpta shook herself, forcing an end to the argument between her conscience and her emotions.

Walking downstairs she headed for the door and began to draw back the bolts; outside she could hear the tutting of the thirsty.

"What kept you? A man could die waiting for a drink in this town"

'Don't rise to the bait', she told herself, 'serve the drinks, smile and let it wash over you'.

"Here" she said handing a pint across the bar as Padraig gave his customary grin, welcoming Brendan with a nod of his head.

"Everything alright Assumpta", Brendan asked quietly as he approached the bar "I just noticed Leo..."

Assumpta cut him off with her trademark scowl. Brendan turned to face Padraig ending the exchange, leaving Assumpta to dwell on the morning's events as well as the days leading up to them. She would be the talk of the village for the next week and that was without anyone knowing the real reason her marriage had lasted mere weeks.

The day continued just as predicted, Assumpta could feel the glances as people talked about her in hushed whispers. Although no one approached her directly, the story of her husband's sudden departure was the topic in every shop and most of the houses.

It was half an hour before closing when Peter made an appearance, throughout the day pieces of gossip had floated towards him, causing an butterflies in his stomach as he continued to go about his priestly duties. Finally curiosity got the better of him, he knew he had to see her. He opened the familiar blue door and entered, the pub was busier than usual on a weekday, but, he supposed, it was the beginning of the tourist season.

Assumpta was serving at the other end of the bar; she sensed his entrance and tried to stay focussed on the task in hand. Sliding onto a vacant stool he watched her work until she came over, bringing his usual and placing it on the bar in front of him.

"Thanks"

Despite the noise of the pub, silence appeared to surround them. Each looking at the other but unable to say exactly what was on their minds.

Peter looked down, staring at his pint, gathering his courage he began.

"You ok? I mean…I don't want to pry but…"

Feeling her cheeks flush, she nodded.

"Well if you ever want to talk, you know I'm always…"

"I know".

Just then Siobhan, Brendan and Padraig erupted into laughter from the other side of the room. The spell was broken. Peter joined the trio, watching Assumpta continue with her work.

Soon the evening was over, the regulars had left, leaving Assumpta with just her thoughts and a list of chores. After clearing the glasses and finishing up in the kitchen, she poured a glass of wine and sat down, watching the dwindling fire. She thought back to her conversation with Peter, his soft green eyes as he offered her his support. It was his friendship, or rather her feelings towards him that had ended her marriage, although, she reflected, it was those same feelings that prompted her to flee to Leo in the first place.

Weeks later it was if the marriage had never happened, the whispers and stares had died down as life continued as normal.

Walking downstairs, Assumpta yawned heading for the post that was already on the mat. She was intrigued to see an official looking letter in a brown envelope. Realisation hit her, divorce papers. Her stomach began to wretch, what had she done? Destroyed a friendship, betrayed her feelings, hurt people she cared about. All because of unrequited love for the village priest. Clutching her stomach she ran to the bathroom, collapsing against the floor as she vomited.

She dragged herself from the bathroom, knowing she had no option but to get on with her day. A few minutes ago, she had briefly contemplated ringing Niamh but knew she couldn't face her – not knowing the reason she was feeling so awful. The moment she saw her friend she knew she would have to confess, the latent Catholic in her she supposed. Niamh was her oldest and best friend, but she was, as Assumpta knew, a little self-righteous at times and had never understood how she had allowed Leo to leave.

After changing and showering Assumpta was beginning to feel more human although her stomach still churned when she thought about the divorce. She had put thoughts of Leo to the back of head, trying to forget the pain she had inflicted. 'I was hurt too', she reasoned but she knew her pain was from guilt rather than heartbreak.

None of the regulars noticed Assumpta's mood as she worked as usual with them propping up the bar. Peter had looked at her curiously when he came in although even he said nothing. The normal banter and teasing continued, Siobhan was hiding a secret and the others were desperately trying to glean any information.

"Come on Siobhan, you know you can trust us", Brendan pried.

"You'll know when I'm ready"

"But"

"Whine like that and you'll never find out".

Assumpta noticed the look that passed between Siobhan and Peter and for a moment felt a stab of jealously. She knew it was irrational, that everyone confided in the priest, after all his caring nature was one of the reasons she treasured his friendship, yet she couldn't help the nagging feeling.

The next day the landlady once again began to feel dizzy and a nauseous feeling washed over her. Making a dash for the bathroom she emptied the contents of her stomach. After rinsing her mouth out with water she stood against the sink and yawned. Knowing the numerous tasks she had to undertake, she headed downstairs refusing to give into her body's demand for rest.

A week later and Assumpta was still feeling ill, she couldn't keep any food down and every muscle in her body ached with exhaustion. Studying her reflection in the mirror, she noted the dark rings around her eyes, even more prominent due to her pale complexion. A sick feeling once again came from her stomach and she dashed to the bathroom.

"Assumpta", Niamh's voice was calling from downstairs. "You wouldn't believe what Dad has got Liam and Donal doing now", she continued as she walked upstairs. "Oh my god…Assumpta"

"I'm fine"

"Of course you are…and there go the pigs flying. I'm calling Doc Ryan".

"Niamh"

"No buts, you look awful. Lets get you out of here and into bed".

"Trust me, its just the flu"

"I'm ringing".

Niamh carefully helped her up from the floor and began walking her to her room. As she stood Assumpta felt a stabbing pain hit her stomach, she doubled over as the throbbing continued. Niamh gently helped on to the bed and then ran to phone Michael.

In the 10 minutes it took the doctor to arrive the pain had increased in intensity before beginning to subside. Assumpta was curled up in her bed when there was a gentle knock on the door. Although she gave no opening greeting, Michael entered the room.

"How are you feeling now?" he smiled.

Assumpta was transported to her illnesses as a child and the doctor coming to ease her pain. She knew she was in safe hands and had to be honest.

"The pain is easing, nothing like it was before. But when I went to the toilet a few minutes ago I did pass blood."

"Okay. Is there any chance you could be pregnant?"

"I don't think so…I mean Leo's been gone for weeks now…surely I would know"

The colour drained out of Assumpta's face; she hadn't had a period in weeks, it just hadn't crossed her mind. Realisation hit her, the sickness, the exhaustion. Looking up at Michael she nodded.

Gently he spoke, "I think it is possible you have just had a miscarriage, the cramping and blood would suggest that… you should spend the rest of the day in bed, your body needs to recover. With some rest, you should start feeling a bit better soon."

Tears streamed down her cheeks, 'How could I not have known?' Turning to face Michael she spoke.

"Okay"

"Can I get you anything? I could call someone. Niamh is waiting downstairs"

"No thanks, if you wouldn't mind I'd like to be alone. I really don't want anyone else knowing my business".

"All right, but if you need anything, anything at all, even if it is just to talk, call".

A walk would be just the thing to blow the cobwebs away. Weekday mass was never Peter's favourite part of the job, preaching to elderly ladies, five of them at the most. These were the faithful that had lapped up Liam and Donal's sweating statue scam and had never forgiven Peter for being English. More and more things were beginning to disillusion him about the job and the restrictions it put on him.

Unconsciously, he turned to look at Fitzgerald's, the place where he felt most at home in Ballykissangel, it was also the source of his deepest longings. Outside the blue door was Michael Ryan's car. Looking at his watch Peter confirmed the time. What was Michael doing there before opening? Fear entered his head, just as it had Assumpta's the night a baby had been abandoned years before. Speeding up, he headed down the road.

Just as he approached the pub, the doctor came out. Michael didn't notice Peter at first, his expression was one of seriousness. Upon noticing the other man he schooled his face into one of neutrality. Less observant people may not have noticed the change, but not Peter, when it came to matters involving Assumpta; he was a trained professional.

"What is it Michael? Is it Assumpta? Is she okay?" with fear pulsating round his body Peter made no attempt at hiding his concern.

"She's fine…she has just come down with a touch of flu", the doctor smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Michael, you would tell me…"

"Peter"

"Yeah, I know"

The priest entered the pub and headed for the kitchen, he could hear the sounds of the boiling kettle.

"Hi Niamh"

"Oh, Father Clifford. Care for a cuppa"

"Is everything okay Niamh? I just saw Dr. Ryan leaving"

"Assumpta's a little under the weather. I was just making some lunch, you could take it up if you like. She's not in the greatest of moods and I need to get back to Kieran".

The tray was carefully laid out with bread, soup and tea. He picked it up and walked towards the stairs. Climbing them he could hear sobs coming from one of the rooms. She was the strongest person he knew; deep down he knew, whatever was wrong with Assumpta, it certainly wasn't flu.

Peter knocked on the bedroom door. No answer. He could still hear the muffled sound of crying. He knocked again.

"Go away Niamh"

"Its Peter…I've brought you some food. Can I come in?"

He expected to hear another entreaty to be left in peace; instead he heard a very quiet 'okay'.

Whilst Peter would never be able to admit it out loud, he had spent hours imagining what was behind the wooden door. The secret place where Assumpta escaped the world and relaxed. Only Leo had been permitted to enter her room, now for the first time he could see for himself. Shaking his head he slowly opened the door and was horrified at the sight. Assumpta was curled into a foetal position on the bed, her skin was white and tears rolled down her cheeks as sobs rocked her body.

Placing the tray on a dresser he approached the bed, gently touching her shoulder.

"Assumpta…what's wrong?"

She said nothing but turned to face him. Sitting down on the bed he reached out again. It was mere seconds before she was in his arms, burying her head into his shoulder as she continued to weep. Peter stroked her hair and back, offering murmurs of comfort. His heart was breaking as he watched the only woman he had ever loved, the only woman who had ever made him regret his vows, cling on to him and cry with despair.

They remained in the same position until her sobs began to subside, turning into whimpers until at last she spoke.

"Its all my fault. I hurt him, I used him and this is my punishment. I would have loved it. I would have looked after myself. I didn't know."

Peter pulled back to look at her, confused by her words. Tears were once more rolling down her face as she refused to meet his eyes. His experience of women was limited to say the least, it was hardly a subject that had been taught at the seminary and although he had sisters they relied on each other for emotional support. Unsure of what to do, he pulled her back against his chest and continued rocking her tenderly.

"What's happened Assumpta? Are you ill?"

"No…I…I lost the baby"

"Baby?"

"I thought it was a bug, just stress, that's why I was sick. I haven't really been eating. I didn't know. Now it's gone. I never knew but I feel so empty. God is punishing me. For the wedding, for the way I treated Leo, the way I treated you."

"It's okay"

"But"

"Assumpta, look at me. I know you're hurting and I can't begin to understand what that is like but you are not to blame. God doesn't punish us for our mistakes. That's what it was, a mistake"

"You don't understand", Assumpta sobbed, "I married Leo because I couldn't have the one person I wanted. He loved me, was prepared to change his life for me and I still rejected him. I thought I was okay with it all but now I missed my chance. Missed my chance to be a mother".

With that Assumpta fell back on the bed, exhausted by her confession and the day.

"Assumpta"

"You should go, I shouldn't have told you"

"Assumpta please"

"Just go"

Peter felt trapped between a rock and a hard place, he desperately wanted to be near her, provide her with some comfort but he knew she needed space, space to think, space to grieve. With one last look at Assumpta he turned and left the room.

All Peter felt was numbness as he left Fitzgerald's, watching Assumpta suffer such pain was agonizing for him. He did the only thing he could in his present frame of mind, heading to St Joseph's, he sat down and began to pray. He prayed for her pain to ease and that she might find some comfort but he also prayed for himself, for guidance in how to react to the situation.

That night Peter lay awake, unable to stop himself from tossing and turning. He had never really thought about Assumpta as a mother, when she had married Leo the pain was so intense that thoughts of her future life had been blocked out. Now it was all he could think about, her carrying a child, smiling as they played together. To think that might have been her future and with no Leo around he could have had a role in the child's life. Life was cruel yet Peter refused to believe she was being punished. God, his God, was caring and would forgive all mistakes, even the ones that Peter made himself.

Peter thought back to the time when his feelings began to change. He was unable to pinpoint the exact moment when his vocation no longer seemed enough, when thoughts of Assumpta began to dominate his days. While this morning had been hell, the feeling of holding her in his arms was indescribable; it had felt right. He felt whole, complete. In the back of his mind he always hoped his feelings were shared but as she had held on to him, confessing her deepest secrets, he knew. The question was what to do about it, going down there and begging her to run away with him was not an option, but after seeing the look in eyes as she thought she had missed her chance to become a mother, doing nothing was not an option either.

In the early morning light Assumpta got out of bed, other than being a little light headed, she was starting to feel normal, her body at least was beginning to heal. She thought back to the last few days of feeling ill. If only she had known it might have been prevented. It reminded her of the days after her mother had died, when she felt alone in the world, the last surviving member of her family once more. It would have to remain that way; with only Michael and Peter knowing the truth she'd learn to survive.

Downstairs she heard the sounds of scratching, Finn. In everything that had happened the previous day she had forgotten her pet, pulling on a pair of jeans and a comfy old jumper she headed downstairs to be greeted by the enthusiastic dog.

"Come on boy – a bit of fresh air will do us both the world of good".

It was still early as they set off, the rest of the village remained sleeping as they passed the row of houses. Glancing towards the church she noticed a light on in Peter's cottage, not wanting to think about him she walked quickly by, hoping to find solace in the fields and hills beyond.

Unbeknown to Assumpta, Peter's sleepless night had continued. Around 5am he had given up the pretence of sleeping and risen. During the night he had realised two important facts, he needed to be the one Assumpta always turned to, in good times and in bad, and that wasn't going to happen while ever he remained a priest.

Watching Assumpta with Finn he fought the urge to go and join her. His realisation was still buzzing round his head. He needed to find out how to leave the church and offer Assumpta support, but in such a way that she felt no pressure. In the kitchen he made himself a cup of tea and sat down to think. Casting his mind back to his early days as a priest, he recalled Daniel Cook, a man he had met in his first parish, who had left the priesthood after 10 years. He remembered him talking about the struggles of giving up his vocation but also the fulfilment his family had brought him. It was a start; he would be able to offer advice and support. In the living room he heard the clock chime 7:30, mass was in half an hour. Resolving to phone after the service Peter headed out the door.

The conversation with Daniel proved fruitful, by lunchtime Peter had a list of names and addresses as well as advice on how to begin. That had to be a carefully worded letter to his superior. Father Mac's response would either slow or hasten the next stage of the process, when he would be formally released from his vows. Sitting down at the kitchen table and composing himself, Peter began to write

_Dear Father MacAnally,_

_It is after much consideration and prayer that I am writing this letter…_

Half an hour later he had finished, his letter was considered and respectful, he took pains not to mention Assumpta by name, instead exploring his disillusionment with elements within the Catholic Church. Now the letter was written the only thing left to do was post it. Wanting to savour of the beautiful Irish countryside, he decided to drive to Cilldargen.

As the letter fell on to the doormat of the parish priest, Peter suddenly felt a sense of relief. While he knew the days to come were going to be difficult he was at last being true to himself. His next task was to face Assumpta although he was a little unsure as to how she would react to him, after all in their last conversation she had confessed her deepest secrets and fears before throwing him out of the room.

Opening the door to Fitzgerald's, he found the place virtually empty with just a couple of tourists sitting in a corner. As he approached the bar he could hear Assumpta and Niamh arguing in the kitchen.

"I'm okay Niamh, more than capable of running the pub".

"You should rest…you still look a little peaky".

"I told you, I'm fine".

Peter cleared his throat. After overhearing the argument, he was surprised when it was Niamh who came through the door.

"What can I get you Father?"

"Just a cup of coffee please, I was hoping to speak to Assumpta. Is she around?"

"I'll just check for you".

As Niamh headed back, Peter was felt his stomach churn with nerves. He was going to see her for the first time since a future for the two of them was possible, not that he was about to announce his intentions to the pub,

"Sorry Father, she's not feeling up to visitors at the moment".

He tried to hide the look of hurt that passed across his face. While she was obviously physically better, she still didn't want to see him. Nodding, he went to sit down with his drink.

Another sleepless night befell Peter. Why didn't Assumpta want to see him? Today he had made the most momentous decision of his life because of her. Had he thrown away his vocation to be alone forever? Logically he knew she would still be piecing her life back together after the events of the previous day, including his role in them, however that still didn't ease his mind. He would speak to her in the morning, making sure she knew he was there for her, even if she didn't know his real intentions.

At the pub Assumpta slept soundly, her body was recovering. She had reluctantly taken some sleeping tablets from Michael to ensure her mind could rest. Waking up refreshed it took several minutes for things to hit her. Once more she sat on her bed and wept. Resolving to continue on as normal, she dried her tears, washed her face and went downstairs. While Niamh had insisted upon working last night to allow her to rest, she had to rush off shortly after closing; the pub needed a good clean and fresh air. Propping open the door she set to work.

Peter knew he should wait for Father Mac's call but he was having difficulty controlling his impatience. He spent the first hour after the end of mass staring at the telephone before finally grabbing his coat and leaving the house. While he was still ordained there were duties to be performed, the sick to be tended, the lost to be counselled. He remembered Siobhan's delicate problem, he could help there, it was nearly 10 o'clock, Brendan would soon be on a break.

In order to reach the school, Peter had to past Fitzgerald's. It was too early for opening, he would see Assumpta later. As he approached the pub he saw the door open and heard music coming from inside. Abandoning his previous intentions he knocked lightly and entered.

"Hi"

Assumpta looked up from her mopping, a shocked look on her face.

"Peter", she said quietly "What are you doing here?"

"I thought we should talk"

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have said"

"Assumpta"

"Anyway, I'm fine now, everything's fine"

"I'm glad. You never need to be sorry you know. I want you to be able to talk to me. About anything, life, death, the weather, you know, anything"

"Okay"

"Don't forget, anything"

She smiled "Okay".

As he held his arms out offering a hug, a shadow moved across the doorway.

"Mr Clifford, I thought I might find you here"

"Father Mac"

"So this is the real reason…Assumpta Fitzgerald, I might have known".

Father Mac looked from one to the other, from Peter's look of embarrassment, to Assumpta's of confusion.

"What can we do for you Father?" Assumpta asked.

"_We_, it's a we already", Father Mac sneered, "he's still a priest, at least for today Miss Fitzgerald, sorry Mrs McGarvey. A word Father "

With that the older man stormed out of the pub leaving Peter no option but to follow obediently. Assumpta stood motionless unable to comprehend what had just happened.

Father Mac strode towards the church, the anger clearly etched upon his face. He thought any connections between the landlady and his curate had been laid to rest as Peter went on retreat. To be carrying on all this time, including a sham of a marriage, beggared belief. Why had he been so blind as to what was going on in front of him? Finding the two of them together when he had been on his way to discuss Peter's release from his vows was the last straw. By the time the younger man had caught up with him, he was ready to explode.

"Father, please let me explain, it was not what it looked like. There is nothing going between me and Assumpta. I was just offering her support, she is going through a difficult time personally."

"How stupid do you think I am? You have made a fool out of me for long enough. Do you go round hugging all the village? If Kathleen was feeling lonely, would you hold your arms out for her? What about Eamon?"

"You don't understand. She needed someone. I am not going to deny that my feelings for her are less than platonic but that's what they are feeling. Nothing has happened between us. I took vows between myself and God; until those vows have been dissolved Assumpta and I will remain friends and friends only. I explained my decision in the letter, I had hoped that you would you would understand and support me".

As Father Mac studied the other man, he saw the honesty in his eyes, the torment his situation had put him through. Slowly the anger left him, regardless of his feelings, he knew Peter to be an honest man and good priest. Had he judged him too harshly? He guided Peter into St Joseph's and led him to a pew sitting down beside him.

"Are you sure this is what you want", his voice was soft now, caring.

"Yes, very. Even if Assumpta was not a factor I know my place now is serving the community in other ways; serving God in other ways"

"It may be difficult. Are you prepared for that?"

"I have to be. I hope my family and friends will understand my decision".

"And you intend to stay here in Ballykissangel?"

"I'd like to, I've come to regard it as home".

"You have been a good friend to the people of this town, you may not be my kind but you were a good priest".

"So what happens now?"

"I'll speak to the Bishop this afternoon explaining the situation. I'm sure he'll decide on the best course of action. I imagine your last sermon will be on Sunday followed by a week long retreat to reflect on your decision, after that you'll be free to go".

Peter smiled "Thanks, it means a lot, your support. I know things haven't always been easy".

"I'll be in touch"

The older man stood and walked out of the church feeling a sense of relief. He thought of Nancy, how his life might have been different if he'd known earlier. At least the Peter was being honest and, he thought with a wry smile, soon he would be someone else's problem. Taking a quiet moment, he prayed for the younger man, that he would have a full and happy life, and for himself, that his next priest would be at least 70.

Meanwhile Peter remained in the church reflecting on what had just happened, from Father Mac's attitude as he had walked into Fitzgerald's to the supportive way in which he had left. In ten short days he would be released from his vows, free to pursue his dream. And then there was the matter of Assumpta. Peter had hoped to tell her of his decision in quiet moment between the two of them when she had begun to heal. Now she knew in the most public of ways, when she was still recovering from the events of last week. He knew he needed to go and explain but finding the nerve to speak to her was going to be difficult.

Having watched Peter follow Father Mac out of the pub, Assumpta began to piece together what had happened. She knew the older priest to be a pompous and at times unreasonable man but even that did not explain his behaviour. 'He's still a priest, at least for today', the words echoed in her mind. Was Peter about to leave the priesthood? The very thought made her stomach flip-flop in delight. But if that was true why hadn't he confided in her? Maybe the priesthood wasn't the only thing that Peter was planning on leaving behind. 'No, that can't be right, not after his speech this morning'. Assumpta began to lose herself in a fantasy of the future, a future where she and Peter were together, a smile played on her lips as she dreamt.

She was roused from her reverie as the door opened, revealing a smiling Siobhan and Brendan. What was going on between them? Her own problems had eclipsed those of her friends for the past week, now, feeling more like herself, she vowed to find out.

"A pint and an orange juice please Assumpta"

"Not drinking today Siobhan, that's not like you. Is everything okay?"

"It's fine, just have a difficult surgery this afternoon, need to keep my wits about me".

Assumpta bit her tongue, the vet always had small drink at lunchtime whatever she had planned for the afternoon, claiming it relaxed her and thereby helped her patients. Her thoughts on the matter were forgotten as Peter entered the pub.

"Brendan, Siobhan", he said nodding in their direction, "Assumpta…may I have a word?"

She smiled and led him to the kitchen.

"Is everything okay? You know you can talk to me about anything" she said, reflecting his words back to him.

"I owe you an explanation. Can you get away this afternoon? We can't talk with the others in there"

"Sure, I normally take Finn out for a breath of air after the lunchtime rush, you can join us if you like"

"That'd be great, see you about 2:30pm".

As he smiled his eyes sparkled, a sight she'd never seen before. Assumpta couldn't help grinning too, whatever was going to happen between them this afternoon, she had a feeling everything was going to be okay.

By 2:20 Assumpta was nervously pacing the kitchen. She knew this wasn't a date but her limited knowledge of Peter's plan made her stomach churn all the same. Calling for Finn she headed out the door and towards the church. In the distance she could see hopping nervously from one foot to the other as he waited for her. Reaching him she smiled and they headed off together with Finn bounding off ahead.

They walked in silence to begin with, neither knowing where to begin. Finally Assumpta, who was not known for her patience, began to speak.

"So… you said you wanted to talk"

"I do, I just don't know where to start"

"How about why Father Mac burst into the pub this morning", while her words were harsh, the tone was gentle, willing him to go on.

"I resigned, well asked to be released from my vows. I put the letter through his door yesterday knowing he does all his correspondence after morning mass. I told him I was disillusioned with my vocation and the church but he guessed the real reason – you."

She'd thought as much but the one question was playing on her mind "Why now? Why not before? If I knew before I wouldn't have married Leo"

"It was watching you, holding you the other day. I want to be the one you turn to - for everything. I want to be your family" He stopped and forced her to look into his eyes "I love you Assumpta"

They carried on walking enjoying the peace and tranquillity of the day, the honesty behind Peter's confession.

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"How do you feel about me?"

"Well, you're all right I suppose, for a priest anyway", she laughed joyously, "So, what happens now?"

"We live happily ever!"

"Okay Prince Charming, but what about before that?"

He explained the procedure that Father Mac had discussed that morning, the mass and the retreat, it all seemed so easy although memories of the last retreat Peter had taken still haunted her. If he followed Father Mac's rules he could still take communion and remain a practicing Catholic. While Assumpta's feelings for the institution were well documented, she still respected his religion.

She suddenly paled. He was making all these sacrifices for her, to make her happy but if they ever married it wouldn't be recognised in the church. 'I'm going to make him miserable, like I made Leo miserable'.

"What's wrong?"

"We can't be together"

"Why…I thought you loved me"

"I do. But I'm divorced, in the eyes of the church I'm tainted goods and you could never marry if it wasn't in the eyes of God"

"The only eyes that matter to me are yours. But we can look at an annulment if you want"

"How? You and Michael know about the baby, how can I get an annulment after that?"

"One step at a time okay. We are going to be together. Forever, if that's what you want".

She nodded. The two headed back down the valley, while nothing was certain they had a vague plan. While Peter was on retreat Assumpta would investigate the annulment. Then, when Peter was back they would begin to date, discreetly at first until the village accepted Peter the man, they didn't want to give the village gossips any more ammunition.

"What about celibacy?" Assumpta asked when they reached Peter's cottage.

"Lets put it this way, you may have to wait a while but I promise, I'll make it well worth the wait!"

Peter's last sermon came as no surprise to much of the village as he announced his decision to leave the priesthood. They had watched with interest as the priest and landlady had danced round each other and were keen to witness the next development. Not everyone was happy though, it took Niamh several weeks to come to terms with her friend's decision and Kathleen still seethed when she thought about it. Peter and Assumpta remained blissfully happily though, planning their lives together.

"So this celibacy thing"

"Yes"

"What does it include?"

Peter had been back from retreat for a week and was living on Brendan's sofa but each afternoon he accompanied Assumpta and Finn on their walks round the hills.

"You know I can't have…you know…before marriage", Peter blushed just talking about it.

"What about kissing?"

"Well that I can manage".

He moved towards her, allowing their lips to gently meet for the first time. Sighing Assumpta increased the pressure.

Peter was dazed as they pulled apart he uttered a single word that made Assumpta's heart flutter "Heaven".

Assumpta was reluctant to slide out of bed and leave Peter's arms. The first four months of marriage had been blissful, she truly felt blessed. Heading for the bathroom a nauseous feeling swept over her.

Waking up Peter missed the warmth of her in his arms, as his senses awoke, he heard sounds coming from the bathroom. He found his wife sitting on the toilet, a packet in hand, looking shaken.

"It's positive"

"Wow"

"But after what happened before. What if?"

"That was a life time ago, everything will be okay"

She smiled, he was right. This was right. Last time she hadn't known until it was too late, this time she knew early. Last time it was the wrong man, this time the man was so very right.


End file.
